Holy is the Lord

Got to go to a concert, but here's today's post. We stand and lift up our hands For the joy of the Lord is our strength We bow down and worship him now How great, how awesome is he? Bridge: And together we sing Chorus: Holy is the Lord, God Almighty The earth is filled with his glory Holy is the Lord, God Almighty The earth is filled with his glory The earth is filled with his glory Yeah it's rising up all around It's the anthem of the Lord's renown Goodbye, Sarah

Friday again?

I guess it's time for Friday's Feast! Appetizer Which keys do you have on your key chain? Let's see...I have my house key, my key to the red car, my key to the van, my door key for the station wagon, my ignition key for the station wagon, and my work key. Not bad for someone who's 17. Soup What is the most spontaneous thing you've ever done? Probably deciding to go to a Third Day concert the day after Thanksgiving--deciding that week. Oh, and it was in another state. Salad Who is the best cook in your family? Probably my mom. She's an excellent cook. Main Course If you were to write a "how-to" book, what would the title be? How-to...oh wow, do I know enough about anything to write a book? Oh! I know! "Psycho Fans: how to show your allegience!" Dessert Name a recent fad you've tried. Um, blogging I guess??;) This was fun:)

Grace and other such

as I was looking at the blogs I visit daily(pretty much all the ones on my blogroll), I spied this post that Jeremy wrote mentioning a comment I made in regards to a post by Mark at This Guy Falls Down. I wanted to just say thanks for mentioning me. This is the meat of my comment, for those who are wondering: I like being honest--but I agree. Sometimes I think we get to a point where we say "Will this be too much trouble" to post--meaning will the aftermath of what you write cause you more trouble than your desire to write it. There's a quote attributed to many people that says, "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind". The hardest thing is to find a balance between that "this is me" attitude, and quite frankly, grace. I don't envy your position at all. The reason I mentioned that is because I do struggle with it. I like confrontation, I really do. I don't like confrontation if the person will get hurt, like if they won't get angry, just hurt, but I do like arguments. I've been known to seek them out. I used to never have a problem with that, I used to think that it was just something in me to like to debate and seek challenges. Then we had a Sunday School session--gosh it's been so long ago--where our teacher talked about being humble and gentle in spirit. Me? Gentle in spirit? You can forget that because it isn't happening. To be honest I often avoided those verses in the Bible, or passed them off in my mind as "suggestions". Let's just say I left church with some chiropractic adjustments. There is a balance, and I'm finding that out as I get older. Being known as "the honest girl" is a good thing, but it can be a bad thing if "honest" becomes a synonym for "without grace or tact". It isn't to say I should always withold what I think because it might offend people--it means that I should see if the end result really does make it worth offending a few people. Colossians 4:5-6 Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. Baasi, Sarah

Busy, busy, what is busy?

I feel so pulled in many directions recently. It's finals season and I'm feeling the crunch. For some reason unbeknownst to me (ok, I do know. It was money) I said that I could work tomorrow. So I'm going to go in after my Español exam and working for 3 hours. Por el amor de Dios! On Friday I've got English class, shopping for a birthday present, I've got to mail something, then I have work for a few hours, then I've got Bible Study. On Saturday I've got to study for my Español final and oral exam on Tuesday, then I'm going to a concert to volunteer. Then I've got church on Sunday, a birthday party, and VBS skit practice (plus more studying). Why did I go through my schedule when I'm sure some of you have the same types of schedules all the time? Well, I've come to realize something about being busy. I've realized that the more I'm busy, the harder it is to have a good relationship with God. It's not that I don't have quiet times or read my Bible when I'm this busy--I make it a point to do both every day. But when I have so many things to do, I don't keep my quiet times holy--that is, set apart. I let other thoughts get in. I often am thinking about what I have to do the next day. My prayers are shorter so I can get to sleep because I have to wake up early--etc, etc, etc. But that's not the end of the story. I was thinking tonight at youth group about why that is--why, even when I try to focus, or even when I do focus on God, is my relationship with God not as good? Well, while one of the guys in youth group was praying tonight, he said "Let us go in your power and ....." something like that. I stopped listening at power. For some reason it all clicked. When I'm busy, I'm getting so many things done. I really do well if I'm busy--I actually work better under pressure than I do not under pressure (I get that from my mom). Unfortunately I can't do that for too long or I'll crack. The reason why is that I do things on my own strength, and my own power to do everything. "Git 'er done!" as the saying goes. If I'm relying on my own power, I'm not relying on God's power. I'm thinking of all the things I can get done--not all the things God wants to do in my life. Where does that leave me? Should I not get things done that should be done, simply because I can't focus on God when I'm busy? Of course not. I'll always be busy. But I think there's a balance. A place of "rest" that God talks about in the Bible, that doesn't mean rest from the THINGS I'm doing, but resting in Him IN SPITE of the things I'm doing. As a closing note, here's some fun lyrics for you. Archibald (Mayor): I'm busy, busy, dreadfully busy You've no idea what I have to do. Busy, busy, shockingly busy Much, much too busy for you. Larry: Oh, I see. Archibald and Doctor: We're busy, busy, dreadfully busy You've no idea what we have to do. Busy, busy, shockingly busy Much, much too busy for you. 'Cause we're busy, busy, frightfully busy More than a bumblebee, more than an ant. Busy, busy, horribly busy We'd love to help, but we can't! Archibald: Ta ta! I never want to be that busy!! Kefel, Sarah

My, My, My

The light from the window is fading You turn on the night The sound from the avenue's calling you Open your eyes And when you find You're spending your time Wanting for words But never speak You tell yourself That the things you need come slow But inside, you just dont know My, my, my Let your bright light shine Let your words live on Far beyond this life Beyond this life Hold on to anything Everything's over and done Has the fear taken over you Tell me Is that what you want To make up your life Time after time You're falling behind Hold on to me Never leave Forever be What you mean to me right now Don't you feel better now My, My, My lyrics from Rob Thomas' latest cd, Something to Be

Leviticus

Most of the time, we view Leviticus as a boring book. Many an eager new Christian has been stumped by Leviticus in their desire to read through the Bible. I know the first time I wanted to go straight through, I made it through Leviticus, but when I got to Numbers, I just gave up. Well I'm at it again. I've got this Bible reading plan where every night I read at least two chapters--one from an Old Testament book, and one from a NT book. I finished savoring Exodus in the OT(I tend to lean more towards the prophetic books, so I was trying to go in the more historical direction. I figured I could do them in order), and I just finished Luke in the NT. I actually went from Matthew, to Mark, to Luke, and now I'm going to Acts, since Luke wrote it too, and it just continues the story from Luke. Anyway, that's besides the point. I'm on Leviticus. So last night I was reading in chapter 6-7, and I was reading along about the different offerings they had to bring, and as I was reading the notes about the differences between a guilt offering and a sin offering (I was noticing the two were similar while I was reading. I have an NIV Study Bible, and so it's got built in study notes), I saw this note about the fellowship offering. Leviticus 7:11-36 This section supplements chapter 3, adding regulations about (1) three types of fellowship offerings (thank, vv.12-15; vow, v.16; freewill, v.16), (2).....(on to what else it's about) So I've decided I want to examine how those three types of fellowship offerings apply to us today, after Jesus became the final sacrifice. Look for that coming soon. Kapa ga nossa, Sarah

This is my body...

And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, “This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you. Luke 22:19-20 Today at church, we had communion. We have it every 4th Sunday, and a lot of times it becomes routine. The nice thing about communion is that the communion song is generally a good one. But today it really hit me about the great healing that came with the cross. Not only were my sins taken away, but at the cross was where Jesus brought healing. Not only am I free from the chains, but my wounds from the scraping of those chains are gone. If I look back on my life I can see so much damage because of my sin--not only to me physically, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Jesus came so that I can have life--not just a life in a "wheelchair", but a life of running and jumping and leaping and praising God. Jesus never wanted me to live a life with debilitating burdens. He came so I can be healed. Irrevocably, unchangably, and inexplainably free. I know I've posted these lyrics before, but I love them. At the foot of the cross Where grace and suffering meet You have shown me Your love Through the judgment You received And You've won my heart Yes, You've won my heart Now I can Trade these ashes in for beauty And wear forgiveness like a crown Coming to kiss the feet of mercy I lay every burden down At the foot of the cross At the foot of the cross Where I am made complete You have given me life Through the death You bore for me I'm laying every burden down I'm laying every burden down At the Foot of the Cross (Ashes to Beauty) by Kathryn Scott, off the cd Satisfy Do pobachennya, Sarah

Holding on to Thee

As Your children gather in peace All the angels sing in Heaven In Your temple all that I seek Is to glimpse Your holy presence All the heavens cannot hold You, Lord How much less to dwell in me? I can only make my one desire Holding on to Thee All the angels exalt You on high What a kingdom to depart! But You left Your throne in the sky Just to live inside my heart I will always make my one desire Holding on to Thee All The Heavens lyrics by Mark Lee, music by Third Day. From the platinum album Offerings I love that song. It really does just have a sense of complete wonder, without going into a "God, you're amazing. God, you're awesome" type setting. The whole song is just a beautiful expression of how big God is and how He loves us, even when we don't deserve it.

Anguilla

Today is Friday so it's time for another country! Last week we looked at Mauritania. This week we're looking at Anguilla. Another country I've never heard of. It's located in the Caribbean, and it's very tiny. It's only about half the size of Washington DC, but it's population is approx. 13,008. The Anguillans speak English, and it has a very big tourist community. The CIA factbook has more information on the facts about Anguilla. Their newspaper, The Anguillian, is online. Facts about their flags are found on their official government site. Unlike Mauritania, where there are only about a dozen Christians, Anguilla is a predominantly Christian country. This Anguilla tourism site says that there is a church about every 2 square miles. The country is approximately 40% Anglican, 33% Methodist, 5% Baptist, and others. I found this article, actually, about how this Christian Council was issuing guidelines related to politics and election campaigning! If only we did that here! I'd say the biggest prayer needs are that God would send a great revival to that small island. That true and lasting relationships with Him would develop, and a great passion for God would rise up from that country. Also, pray that if there are any denominational differences, that those would be abolished. Pray that peace and grace would be over Anguilla. Ovwa, Sarah

Friday's feast.

Time for Friday's Feast! Appetizer Name something that helps you fall asleep. Some kind of noise. Ok, specifically I like fans or air conditioners. Because I can't stand white noise, I have to have some real noise that won't distract me. Humming I guess you would say. Soup Who brings out the best in you? Saying God would probably not count, since He made me, but as for a person, I don't know. All my friends inspire me to be better. If I had to pick one, I'd say that Rachel B. really makes me want to be better. She's my running partner and accountability partner. (Ironically, our dads have met to pray every week for like the past few years, and our moms have been meeting to pray with another lady too every week for about 8 years. It just so happens that we became prayer partners) Salad What do you like to do on a rainy day? Sleep. And think about boys. But don't tell anyone. Main Course Complete this sentence: In our home, we never have enough... Pens. We have 6 people living at home now, and we are constantly running out of pens that work. We don't have too many that don't work. I want to know where all the pens go! Dessert Which shoe do you put on first? The right, I guess. Most of the time I wear flip-flops so it's whatever shoe is closest. Well that was fun! -Sarah

Busy, busy

Tomorrow I've got to go and be Miriam, Moses' sister for some kids at a Passover Sader meal. I'm so nervous because, well, I haven't quite memorized my whole script, and my plagues order is rather shaky. But hopefully I'll be ok. I think the story of the exodus is rather cool. I mean what is cooler than God piling up the water in a heap? (That's what the story says!) It's sad though because I only have one chapter in Exodus left before I'm done with the book. It's fascinating how the foundation for Israel was laid there. It's the basis of the whole Old Testament. And all the stuff about the tabernacle and the Ark of the Covenant--WOW. My Bible's notes said that over a ton of gold was used, and over 3 tons of bronze was used. It's so amazing to think about that wealth, and how it doesn't compare to God's glory. I've got some interesting comments on one of the chapters in Exodus, but for now I'm going to go and see if I can learn all the plagues. Jakshï bolzïn, Sarah

Sometimes it's ok to cry.

I don't have a problem with crying. In a given week, I probably cry two or three times(some of you are thinking 'what a wimp!' right now). I cry about every other week at church. Heck, I cried at House last night. But when something goes wrong, I find that I hate myself for crying. Tonight I had a really bad night at work. I didn't spot a girl right, and she hurt her wrist. My boss wasn't mad, she just talked to me about making decisions while spotting that skill. (Spotting is a term meaning that you're guiding the girl physically to help her perform the trick safely) But I was upset. Even after the girl left and was fine, I was still upset. Not because I was freaked out, but because I should have been under her and protecting her from hurting herself. But I didn't cry. I knew it would be inappropriate to cry at work, and I didn't. But even now I feel like crying. I just don't want to. But truly, there's nothing wrong with crying. I got frustrated tonight at youth groupo because first of all, it was another game night, which means nothing really spiritual, and we had one of those last week, and then secondly the games that we did play we had no winner, or it wasn't fair to begin with. I HATE losing, but more than that, I HATE playing games where "hey, let's just have fun". It's life. You have winners, and you have losers. We have maybe ONCE played a game that has a clear winner and a clear loser. I was also named the most competitive person in our youth group. Beating one of the guys. I'm not like "guy competitive"(meaning I make daily activities into competitions), but if we're playing a game or are in a competition, I will go after it. So I guess my post for today is to say let yourself cry. It doesn't have to be because of God, or because of a TV show. It could be because you had a bad day. It could be because you don't feel good. It could be because you're angry. It's ok to express emotion. So have yourself a cry. It should feel good. Toby, (it does mean goodbye) Sarah

MLFB webring

For those of you who are very observant, you may have noticed a little new addition to the sidebar--a little webring box. I'd like to introduce to everyone the MLFB webring. We start small, but our influence is mighty! For those who don't know, the MLFB is short for the Mark Lee Fan Base. You can find out how to sign up for that here. Mark Lee, of course, is one of the guitarists in the GRAMMY award-winning rock band, Third Day, and an amazing blogger. So far we've got Traci (who has already posted about the webring), the fearless commander of the MLFB and a lovely, wonderful spirit. You know if you've ever spent time with Traci that laughs and fun are never far away, but that through it all she has a great understanding of life and spiritual truths. We've also got Tracy (are you confused yet? I am!), whom I have not yet had the pleasure of meeting, and who I'm sure is a delight. She has started blogging, and I love her candidness and honesty as she posts her thoughts on life. Then there's Ali. Ali is one of my dearest friends and I don't know what I'd do without her. She continually amazes me with how smart she is (being only 16) and how clearly she sees things. You can always count on Ali to tell you the truth. Besides being a drummer extroidinare(and a wonderful pest about boys), her blog explores the side of her that she guards carefully--the side that shows how much insight and depth about spirituality and God that she posesses. It's also cool to see her get excited and girly about stuff. And then there's me. You're already on my blog so I'm not going to give myself a nifty little link. Or extol my virtues(You know I'd run out of room!). But this post is simply to serve as a starting point. An announcement to the world that the MLFB webring has been started. So here we are, ready to take over the world! Chhikankama, Sarah

I need words

I need words As wide as sky I need language wide as This longing inside And I need a voice Bigger than mine And I need a song to sing you That I've yet to find I need you, oh I need you I need you, oh I need you To be here now To be here now To hear me now To hear me now I Need Words lyrics by David Crowder, from the David Crowder Band album, The Lime CD

Growing closer.

In this life with God, I've come to the realization that it truly is a relationship. Quite frankly, that's scary. Relationships change. They involve risk, and they involve trust. Religion is easier. It's easier to just place something in a box and shove it away in a small corner of your heart. But to let God in--to be with Him day by day--that's a risk. God never changes, but I do. Relationships evolve, and it's up to those involved as to whether it becomes good or bad. God is always willing to put forth the effort to make it a good one. The question is if I am willing to make it a good relationship. It takes a ton of work to make a successful relationship--anyone who has been divorced can tell you that; however it is worth it. You have to want to spend time with someone to make a relationship work. Actually, let me rephrase that. You have to spend time with someone to make a relationship work. Half the time you're not going to want to, I don't think. I don't always feel like spending time with God. But the times I do, even when I don't want to, often turn out to be the most rewarding. I guess this post is because I've been going through a relationship "low" the past few weeks. It hasn't been like FIGHTING between me and God. I haven't been trying to shut Him out--it just became something that I'd like to ignore. I came to the realization that even though I'm having a hard time right now, this will always happen. I can't wait for God to do something huge and amazing to get my attention again. I have to just learn to keep going, and keep focusing on Him. I let so many things distract me, and daily I try to get rid of those things. It's a process of growing closer. What A Friend I've Found What a friend I've found Closer than a brother I have felt your touch More intimate than lovers Jesus, Jesus Jesus, friend forever What a hope I've found More faithful than a mother It would break my heart To ever lose each other Written by Martin Smith ©1996 Curious? Music UK Adiósibá, Sarah

Deliver me..

Deliver me out of the sadness Deliver me from all the madness Deliver me courage to guide me Deliver me Your strength inside me All of my life I've been in hiding Wishing there was someone just like You Now that You're here Now that I've found You I know that You're the One to pull me through Deliver me loving and caring Deliver me giving and sharing Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing Oh, deliver me Jesus, Jesus how I trust You How I've proved You o'er and o'er Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus Deliver me Come and pull me through Come pull me through Deliver Me lyrics by David Crowder Band from their cd, "Illuminate" I love that song. It's really cool. This post has nothing to do with that song, but I wanted to post those lyrics. Today at church we talked in Sunday School about 1 John chapter 1, and it was a really good discussion. One of the things we talked about was in chapter one, verse 9, where it says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to cleanse us and forgive us of all unrighteousness." We talked about the fact that often, as Christians, we tend to forget the "just" part of that. The "faithful and just" part of that verse really is a phrase. God isn't faithful because he feels like it--he's faithful to forgive because that's who he is. He doesn't just bend the rules to forgive us--he sent Jesus, and because of Jesus, God's justice doesn't have to be any different from his love for us. It's really powerful to think we are loved even when we don't deserve it. Hyarcha, Sarah

Love song...

In open fields of wild flowers She breathes the air and flies away (She thanks her Jesus for) the daisies and the roses In no simple language Someday she'll understand the meaning of it all He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens As close as a heartbeat or a song on her lips Someday she'll trust Him and learn how to see Him Someday He'll call her and she will come running And fall in His arms, and the tears will fall down and she'll pray [chorus] I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You Sitting silent, wearing Sunday best The sermon echoes through the walls (A great salvation through) it calls to the people Who stare into nowhere, and can't feel the chains on their souls He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens As close as a heartbeat or a song on our lips Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him Someday He'll call us and we will come running And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray [chorus] I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You Do you want to pray? La la la... It seems too easy to call You Savior Not close enough to call you God (So as I sit and think of) words I can mention To show my devotion [chorus] I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You [3x] My heart beats for You Love Song for a Savior by Jars of Clay. Yesterday I left you and I was all excited about going to the formal. Which it was good to be excited. I had an absolute blast. I even got my pastor, his wife, the school administrator, and a few other of the stuffier chaperones to do The Chicken Dance and the YMCA. I figured they could do those sitting down, since they wouldn't stand up. I did know everyone there-at least all the teenagers(I didn't know some of the chaperones). I actually was surprised and disappointed that none of the teenagers that just go to the Academy, and not to the church, came. Everyone who showed up either goes to youth group or to our church on a regular basis. And so it was kind of small (Ok, it's a Christian Academy anyway...even if all of the highschoolers had come it would have been small), but it was a ton of fun. We shook our tailfeathers, and it really was a blast. The highlight had to be the fact that when your tea got low, they'd come by and fill it up. I need someone like that in my house. Seriously though, it was really cool. Since it is a Christian school, it isn't a normal dance. We had a guest speaker come in(Even though we all know him already...he's going to work at the school next year) and talk. We also had someone sing two songs (Friend of God and Who Am I) before we played the dance/secular stuff. One of the things that I got out of it was the emphasis on being God's friend. I've often said that if you don't have a relationship with God, there's no point to Christianity. Personally, I would never even try to live my life like Christ if I didn't have a relationship. It would be useless. When I accepted Jesus into my heart, I started a relationship with him. My friends aren't going to smack me if I mess up. I know I don't smack my friends if they do something wrong. I won't stay silent to it(anyone who has ever told me of some mess they're in because of their own actions knows that) or ignore it, but I'm not going to say "Oh my gosh, I hate you because you lied to me" or whatever the case may be. Most of the time they know they're wrong. What do I do? I love them. I show grace to them. At least I think I do. (If I don't, feel free to tell me y'all!) That's what friends do. God is intimately involved in my life. He's not going to get mad at me if I mess up. All he wants to do is love and forgive me and see me get back on the right track. Not for his sake, but for my own; just as I want my friends to get on the right track(if they aren't) for their sakes, not mine. He's more than the laughter or the stars in the heavens As close as a heartbeat or a song on our lips Someday we'll trust Him and learn how to see Him Someday He'll call us and we will come running And fall in His arms and the tears will fall down and we'll pray I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You I want to fall in love with You... Bilfu, Sarah

Formal..

It is with fear and trepidation that I head off for work and then to the formal banquet (aka prom). I really am nervous, but for what, I have no idea. I know most all of the people that will be there..my dress fits(and looks so cute, by the way), and I'm having a good hair day. Fear of the unknown, I guess. I'll tell you how it went later. And I'm sorry for the lack of any real updates recently. I'll try to work on that. Jakshy kalyngydzar, Sarah

The Pirates...

Are in town! I just got back from seeing The Pirates of Penzance. Yes, on the stage. The Durham Savoyards, Limited did a great job. However I decided that I like musicals better than operettas, I like dialogue better than singing, I'm persnickity about the chorus members, and it seems as if Gilbert and Sullivan had no idea of what themes their operetta would carry. I'm more of a Rogers and Hammerstein girl myself. You know, Cinderella(It is my dream to play the wicked stepmother in Cinderella, just once!), Oklahoma!(Probably my least favorite), Sound of Music(One of my favorite all-time movies. I'd love to see it onstage!), The King and I(It was the first time I'd ever heard the term "ecetera"! If you've never read the book it's based upon, you should. ), and South Pacific(That included probably my first time ever hearing a cuss word, because I probably first saw it when I was around 5 or 6. Wash that man right out of my hair...great song). Of course, there's many others like Carousel, Allegro, Me & Juliet, and others. I love musical theatre, whether I'm watching it or in it. I think you should give it a try too!

I Surrender

Took a long time To build these walls around me Yet in a heartbeat You'd torn them down completely I let you in with good intentions And soon you'd stolen What I should have given So I surrender to you I surrender You are the one I cry about Yet I cannot live without So to you I surrender I'd quickly forgotten What I'd once so adamantly proclaimed With no one left standing I am the only one left to blame I was so strong yet so blinded Now you've taken my heart To where I'll never find it Here my heart lay open before you I can't deny I just adore you Please don't make me live without you I can't go on without you here I surrender Lyrics from the Chasing Furies album With Abandon Song: I Surrender

It just happens

I'm sitting alone, and this guy comes up to me. We say "hey" "hey" "how are you?" "good, and you" etc. And so he's standing there looking dorky, and he says "um, Sarah, do you, um...." "What?" I say "Do you um, maybe, want to come over for dinner?" "Oh yeah, sure!" I say, "I need to talk to your mom about something." "Um, Sarah" he says, "I, um, I, actually, she won't be there" "What, are your parents going out and you and your sister want company?" I ask "Um, no." Now at this, I'm confused. "Uh, well, my sister really isn't going to be there either." he says, looking down I'm really confused. He's looking at me like "I really don't want to make it obvious, you're supposed to get it" but doesn't want to say anything. and I say "OH! Like, um, like a date?!?" He looks down and kindof nods, but won't look at me. And I just kindof stop and don't talk or anything, and he trys to look at me, but isn't actually looking. I say nothing, I'm just kind of shocked. He looks up and really quietly says "If you're going to say no, do it quickly. Because I've waited long enough to ask you" I just look at him and say "ok". Now don't get all excited or mushy. That was a dream. And yes, I changed the identity of the guy to protect him. Or myself. Or both. I'd like to think of myself as a rational and logical person, I really do. But truthfully, all it takes is one dream. Or a romantic movie. Or a good book. Any of those, and I become a sighing little girl who feels like watching a Disney movie and saying "yes, someday my prince will come". I guess just with the combination of that dream(ok, all the dreams I've ever had, but this and another about the same guy [who I am not infatuated with, just fyi] are the most recent) as well as the fact that I'm going to prom still without a date, makes me wistful. I think it's ok to be wistful, as long as I don't get carried away. I know I need to wait for the right guy. I know that I'm probably not ready to date. I know that the chances of me finding a guy who loves God first and foremost is rare. I know that God has a perfect guy out there for me, and that he is wondering where his perfect girl is. I know all that stuff. What I don't know is when it'll happen. What I don't know is if I'll ever become appealing to a guy who might not be a guy that I will spend the rest of my life with. What I mean is that I'm sick of being the girl that no one ever likes, but one day some guy will love me. I want to be liked, not just loved. Most of all, I know that God has the perfect plan for my life. So what if I only dream of guys asking me out and going on nice dates? I think that it'll all be more special when my guy does come along. I hate the wait, but I think it'll make the gift all the more special. All I have to do is trust in God, don't comprimise, and when I have days where I feel unlovable(or at least unlikeable), know that God made me who I am for a reason, and He loves me the way I am. Horas ma ate, Sarah P.S. This post was similar to my "I am beautiful to my Daddy" post that I wrote awhile back (except this one involves men). If you haven't read it, you should. I've gotten many comments on it.

So it is going to happen...

I debated not posting this, but then I realized there are people who read my blog that I don't know in real life(actually I think very few "real" people read my blog) or are on the Third Day Message Boards, so I should probably post on this topic since it refers to something I talked about before. I, of course, had that post about being all mad that I was upset about not going to the formal dance (By the way, those are called meta emotions, where you have emotions about emotions). As a note, I did feel a lot better the next day, but then I think I got a bit upset the next day at youth group seeing everyone get excited. But that is all in the past. I am now going to the formal(which hereinafter will be referred to as prom, because hey, that's what it is.) and it's too late to back out. Before you ask, no, no one asked me to go with them. Still there is no guy who cares if I go. But what happened is that I was at church on Sunday. So it was after church, and like I posted yesterday, part of what Pastor preached on was "the joy of sacrifice". I was in the foyer, after saying goodbye to my best friend(I spent the night at her house) when I heard someone call my name. It turns out it was Tiffany, one of the girls in my youth group. She's one of the sweetest people you'll meet, a very wonderful southern gal, and she goes to the Academy(our church's Christian Academy, which it's their prom, but church members are invited too). Her step-mom is in charge of tickets, since she works for the Academy. Basically over that next few minutes, they asked me if I was going, when I said no, they said why, when I said I didn't want to, they said come on, etc. I've never heard people use such dumb pleas. It's not an insult I promise. I just found it funny that one of the reasons I should go to prom is "you're the spiritual leader of our youth group! You have to come!", "Even if you sit on your butt and just watch, you'll have fun!" and "You don't have to have a date. You can go with him!"(referring to one of the guys in our youth group who was buying his ticket at that moment. He has a girlfriend who is a good friend, and even if he didn't I don't know if I'd go with him) I don't know whether I said yes because I did secretly want to go, or if I said yes because they were saying anything and everything to get me to go. In the end, Robin(Tiffany's step-mom) told me that God wanted her to buy my ticket(even though I can perfectly well afford it and told her so). So I said I'd show up. That reminds me I need to call and get off work. Of course I felt really happy that someone wanted me to go to prom, even if it wasn't a guy. But then I realized that I had nothing to wear. I have no fancy prom-like clothes. So I bought fabric, a pattern, and other stuff for me and mom to whip me up a dress. It's a cute one(not really prom like, but formal enough. Think 50's cocktail) and I hope I have fun. Either way, I'll keep you posted. Ërtagacha khair, Sarah

The Joy of Giving Yourself Away

I'm going to show you the notes from today's sermon. The Joy of Giving Yourself Away April 10th, 2005 Dr. David Smith, Abundant Life Church John 15:9-15(all verses New Living Translation) I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love. When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I obey my Father and remain in his love. I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow! I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it--the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends. You are my friends if you obey me. I no longer call you servants, because a master doesn't confide in his servants. Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me. -Love is easy in the abstract, but hard in the active. -When you spend your life seeking to satisfy "self", you become miserable. (John 15:11 emphasis) -Giving yourself away requires servanthood. Philippians 2:5-6 (We need to follow Jesus' example) Our attitude should be the same that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not demand and cling to his rights as God. Why should we lay down our lives? -We are following God's example -God loves -God gives -For God so loved the world that he gave... -We gain when we give ourselves away -John 13:12-17 (Verse 17, in the Greek, basically means an "unhibited flow of grace") -The way to be blessed is to be a blessing(but it isn't our motivation) Why should we give ourselves away? 1. Serving others centers you in God's will -God's will always involves giving ourselves away -Faith is saying to God, "I trust you, so I'm signing the totality of my life over to you." -Matthew 20:25-28 (Christ deserved everything, yet he served) -Romans 8:28-29 (Our ultimate purpose is to "be like Christ", and he was a servant) 2. Serving brings out your God-given potential -Get to know your gifts! -God has a tremendous amount of potential invested in you -1 Corinthians 12:7 (God doesn't give us gifts so we can minister to ourselves, but to others) 3. Serving brings the joy of sacrifice -It's easy to serve out of your overflow, but hard out of sacrifice. -Sacrifice costs you something -Some verse in Hebrews that I have the wrong reference written down (The joy comes after the suffering) -There isn't much joy in the sacrifice itself, the joy comes from knowing you served. -How long has it been since you've known the joy of real sacrifice 4. Serving others allows God to use your hurts to heal others -What good is pain? It depends on how you respond to it. -We can resent it OR -We can give it to God -Our hurt might not be taken away instantaneously, even after we give it to God. -God can accomplish even in our pain -AA founder Bill Wilson (these are all examples) -Fanny Crosby -John Bunyan -John Milton -Beethoven -2 Corinthians 2:4 6. God remembers and rewards your service -God always sees it, and it doesn't matter if anyone else sees it. -Matthew 6:5-6 (God actually likes things done in secret) -Hebrews 6:10 (We help God by helping others) -It isn't about the works, or about the reward, but about serving God because we love him. I know it's really long, but I really liked the sermon. Nasvidenje, Sarah

You Are Not Alone

I am always here How’s it make you feel to know That you're not alone Even when you cry I will hold you tight And say don't you be afraid Toss your cares away Leave your burdens on me There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you And I'll keep all the promises I have ever made I am going to be with you Here and everywhere Do you know that you're not alone And I will go ahead of you What have you to fear Do you know that you're not alone You are not alone Whoa no I am always here Yes I hear your prayer to me And if you believe That you can do anything I will give you all the strength Take you by the hand And I'll lead you all the way Toss your cares away Leave your burdens on me There is nothing that I wouldn't do for you And I'll keep all the promises I have ever made I am going to be with you Here and everywhere Do you know that you're not alone And I will go ahead of you What have you to fear Do you know that you're not alone You are not alone Whoa no you are not alone Lyrics from You Are Not Alone by Third Day, off the Alien single.

Mauritania

Mauritania is a country in Africa. It is in the "knob" on the left side, and it's a desert country. The capital city is Nouakchott, and their population is approx. 2,998,563. That's rather big, but I really couldn't have told you it existed. Arabic is their offical language, but they also speak French and some tribal languages. They got their independence(to become a republic) from France in 1960. The country continues to experience ethnic tensions between its black population and the dominant Moor (Arab-Berber) populace. Most of the Mauritanians are Sunni Muslims. I've done some Googling and it doesn't seem that there are that many missionaries there, which isn't surprising because it is an Islamic country. There are a few dozen Christians, among a country of almost 3 million. YWAM in the Sahara has some info on that, as well as info on their country. Facts can be found in the CIA World Factbook. It's a good country to start praying for. The US State Department has some good information on the religious status there. This quote really captured my attention: Both the Government and society generally consider Islam to be the essential cohesive element unifying the country's various ethnic groups and castes. I'm sure it can't be an easy living in a country where there are only a few dozen Christians among millions of people. Voice of the Martyrs has some more good info on the country and their spiritual state...here's what they list as the big prayer needs: Pray that Christians in Mauritania will find support and fellowship with other believers, despite their small numbers. Pray for opportunities for the love of Christ to show through the humanitarian efforts of Christian organizations. Pray for strength of mind and spirit for those risking much to bow their knees to Christ. I hope you will join me this week in praying for the people of Mauritania. M'asselema, Sarah

Have you ever...

thought about how self-centered you are? I know that I tend to just care about news and things that happen that just pertain to me...but there's all kinds of things all over the world that affect thousands of people. Take a look at these front page stories from other countries. -Prince Ranier III of Monaco died. Monaco is the world's second smallest state, after the Vatican. He was Grace Kelly's husband, and never married after her death, saying he still missed her. His 47 year old son will take over. While Monaco is known as a haven for billionares, it's still sad. -In Israel, authorities once again are going to close the Temple Mount to Jews. This whole situation makes me very sad... -In Zimbabwe, there is a lot of uproar over an apparent election fraud. As the British foreign secretary said, "It is about democracy versus dictatorship." These are only three stories out of so very many! These affect so many people's lives, but normally I don't care. So I've decided to do something. Every week, probably on Friday, I'm going to pick a country and find out about it. Then I'll pray for that country for a week, and then pick another. I'll post my findings here, so you're welcome to pray. A se revede, Sarah

Truth..

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses could not save us, because of our sinful nature. But God put into effect a different plan to save us. He sent his own Son in a human body like ours, except that ours are sinful. God destroyed sin's control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins. He did this so that the requirement of the law would be fully accomplished for us who no longer follow our sinful nature but instead follow the Spirit. Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit. If your sinful nature controls your mind, there is death. But if the Holy Spirit controls your mind, there is life and peace. For the sinful nature is always hostile to God. It never did obey God's laws, and it never will. That's why those who are still under the control of their sinful nature can never please God. But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them are not Christians at all.) Since Christ lives within you, even though your body will die because of sin, your spirit is alive because you have been made right with God. The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you. So, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation whatsoever to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you keep on following it, you will perish. But if through the power of the Holy Spirit you turn from it and its evil deeds, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God's very own children, adopted into his family--calling him "Father, dear Father." For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God's children. And since we are his children, we will share his treasures--for everything God gives to his Son, Christ, is ours, too. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, everything on earth was subjected to God's curse. All creation anticipates the day when it will join God's children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, also groan to be released from pain and suffering. We, too, wait anxiously for that day when God will give us our full rights as his children, including the new bodies he has promised us. Now that we are saved, we eagerly look forward to this freedom. For if you already have something, you don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently. And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don't even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God's own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And he gave them right standing with himself, and he promised them his glory. What can we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since God did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won't God, who gave us Christ, also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? Will God? No! He is the one who has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? Will Christ Jesus? No, for he is the one who died for us and was raised to life for us and is sitting at the place of highest honor next to God, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, "For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.") No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8, NLT (emphasis mine) New Living Translation copyright © 1996 by Tyndale Charitable Trust. Sai sere, Sarah

We really do care.

As much as we say that we don't care what people think about us, we do. We care if people like us. Take me for instance. Right now I'm crying because I can't even get a date, not even a friend, to go to this formal dance with me. It's not that I'm particularly interested in going, in fact I really don't care about the dance at all. I don't want to have to find a dress that fits, or all that stuff. But it really hurts to think that I couldn't get a date even if I wanted one. They say you can show up alone, but that's not true. No one is going to show up to a dance alone. It'd be one thing to show up with a bunch of other friends who don't have dates. People do that all the time. But to show up alone? It isn't going to happen. I try to pretend I don't care that no one wants to ask me. Truthfully, I do care. And it does bother me. And even more so I feel like an idiot because I care (For those of you that had doubts, yes, I AM 17). I know that I'm special to God, and He loves me, and all that. I know that someday I'll have guys lined up to take me to dances (Ok, not really, but I know someone will try to say that). But still, it doesn't stop it from hurting now. For some reason, God made us to care what everyone else thinks. He made us to desire, well, desire. I want someone to want me. Not like in that way. I mean, I want someone to think I'm special enough to take me to a dance. Even people we have no respect for we want to like us. We care what others say and what others think. People need people. It's not like I don't have friends. I have plenty of friends. Most of them in real life I'll never tell about this. Those who read this will. I have a great job, a wonderful family, a good academic career, and a wonderful relationship with God. I just don't like myself right now because I feel like I'm having a pity party about something that doesn't matter. Even though God does care about it, I feel like I shouldn't. I'm supposed to be more mature than this. I'm supposed to not care that I've never been on a date or had a guy call me and tell me he likes me. I'm not supposed to have a pity-party. But for some reason I do care. And I don't know why, but that's the way it is.

Give me a T!

T-T-T-TAR HEELS! T-T-T-TAR HEELS! T-T-T-TAR HEELS! GO UNC TAR HEELS!!

Can you hear that?

Hark the sound of Tar Heel voices Ringing clear and true Singing Carolina's praises Shouting N.C.U. Hail to the brightest star of all Clear its radiance shine Carolina priceless gem, Receive all praises thine. I'm a Tar Heel born I'm a Tar Heel bred And when I die I'm a Tar Heel dead. So it's RAH, RAH, Car'lina 'lina RAH, RAH, Car'lina 'lina RAH, RAH, Car'lina RAH! RAH! RAH! 'Neath the oaks the sons true hearted Homage pay to thee Time worn walls give back their echo Hail to U.N.C. Though the storms of life assail us Still our hearts beat true Naught can break the friendships formed at Dear old N.C.U. GO HEELS!

Worship

I will bless the Lord forever, I will trust him at all times. He has delivered me from all fear, He has set my feet upon a rock. And I will not be moved, And I'll say of the Lord You are my Shield, My Strength, my Portion, Deliverer My Shelter, Strong Tower, My very present Help in time of need. Whom have I in heaven but You? There's none I desire besides You. And You have made me glad, And I'll say of the Lord Made Me Glad by Miriam Webster © Copyright 2001 Miriam Webster/Hillsong Publishing I love that song. It isn't the best musically, but there's something about it. God truly is everything to me. And I love just spending time with Him and singing songs about Him and to Him. I've been reading in Exodus recently, and I was reading about when the Israelites got to Mt. Sinai (Chapter 19), and in that chapter, when smoke came out of Sinai because God came upon it in fire, God told Moses to tell the Israelites not to touch the mountain or go on it. Well, Moses told the people that, and they came and saw the smoke and the power of God on the mountain. But God told Moses 2 times to repeat the command to the people, and that third time He said it, Moses had already told Him that he(meaning Moses) had told the people. So why was it so important that Moses keep telling the people? I realized because even though the sight of the power of God must have been extremely scary (would you have liked to see "Mount Sinai was covered with smoke, because the Lord descended on it in fire. The smoke billowed up from it like smoke from a furnace, the whole mountain trembled violently, and the sound of the trumpet grew louder and louder."?), there is something about God that compels us to come to Him. We want Him, no matter what. These Israelites must have wanted to push through and experience God, but they couldn't because of their sin. We can be with God. We can experience God because of grace in Christ. Why do we not want God like the Israelites, so much they had to have Moses telling them that they would die if they kept going? I want God like that. Esghaghlleqamken, Sarah

Band names

I still don't feel like being serious today...maybe church tomorrow will help me get into "serious Sarah" mode. But for tonight, there's more lists! Here's my top 5 band names(of bands that already exist. It doesn't mean I like the band, just the name). For no reason are they numbered.. 1. Third Day. I'm a sucker for names that can be used in nifty marketing ways. The 3D, 3rd Day, Third Day, all that stuff. 2. Reckless Abandon. This has been the name I've always wanted to use for a band, but alas, it's taken, by I'm sure a lot of people. I would give you a link, but none of them are famous. 3. Chasing Furies. They aren't together anymore, but their name is inspired by CS Lewis, and how can that not be good? 4. Among Thorns. I think it's just a nifty name...I like it! 5. Over the Rhine. If you know their music, you know it is awesome. Ok, so those are my top 5. I think they're neat. A quick, huge, GO HEELS! for my team!!! Great job! I would also like to offer my condolances upon the death of Pope John Paul II to any of my Catholic brothers and sisters who might be reading this. May God comfort you. Até a vista, -Sarah

Lists galore...

Well, on my birthday I like do to things that I liked. I have no school, I can rest, everyone is gone from the house, all that stuff. So I would like to do something I like, and make a list. Mark at This Guy Falls Down just made a list of his top 5 movies. Now being the smart, intelligent guy he is, Mark picked some movies that you have to think about to watch. I have to admit, my list isn't nearly as intelligent. But hey, I can only pick 5 movies to take on this desert island, so here's the ones I would want (the order is what order I thought of them): 1. White Christmas. Ok, I know it's stupid, but I'm a sucker for musicals. My mom did a lot of musical theatre and even minored in elementary drama in college(Meaning teaching kids drama. Yes, it was a made-up minor), so I grew up with them. White Christmas has Bing Crosby, the amazing Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney, and Vera-Ellen in it, and is one of my absolute favorites. My friends and I will watch this movie over and over again. 2. You've Got Mail. Now I feel completely stupid after including two "chick flicks" in my list, but I couldn't leave this one out, since it is my favorite movie. I love this movie so much, I'll just watch the end, where Meg Ryan stands there and says "I wanted it to be you. I wanted it to be you so badly". And yes, I cry. 3. Ocean's 11. It's funny, and I always see something new. Even though it is a shallow movie, the pace and style grab me every time. “Been practicing this speech, haven't you?” ”Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it.” 4. Finding Neverland. I was hesistant to add this movie, because I've only seen it once, but I loved it when I did see it. Johnny Depp is an amazing actor, and this movie definitely shows his talent. He became Barrie. The mark of a great actor is not that they act, but that they are. "Just a dog? Porthos dreams of being a bear, and you want to shatter those dreams by saying he's just a dog? What a horrible candle-snuffing word. That's like saying, "He can't climb that mountain, he's just a man," or "That's not a diamond, it's just a rock." Just. " 5. The Princess Bride. How could I not include this one? Absolutely brilliant. It makes me laugh every single time. If you have not seen this movie, you're crazy. Honorable Mentions -Castaway. I wasn't sure if, being stranded on a desert island, I would want to have Castaway with me. If it would be beneficial to me, I'd like to have that, as well as Swiss Family Robinson (The old Disney version). -The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. This will probably be on my list, but seeing as it has not come out yet, I cannot say that I will definitely include it. But just wait, and you'll see if I do indeed pick it. Maanak parov, Sarah