Just a thought.

This is random... You know how all the major car dealers are offering employee discount for everyone? Well, I wonder if their employees get lower pricing. Because if they didn't, it really wouldn't seem fair. they are the ones who are hired and have been part of the company. Why should everyone who just wants to buy a car get the same price? Well, I was about to just simply ask a question, when suddenly it hit me. It's like the Jews and the Gentiles. The Israelites had been getting employee discount for years--being members of the family of God. So when Jesus came and declared employee pricing for everyone, that everyone had to come through him and then they would get that cheap price (of free, not too shabby), the Isrealites were really furious. I can imagine their conversation. Israelite 1: What is up with those odd people? You know, those that are of the Way? Israelite 2: I don't know, but they've got some strange ideas. Israelite 1: Well, you'd think that after Jesus died, they'd give it up. He's obviously not anything special. Israelite 2: Yeah, claiming that He was the Messiah. He died. But you know, I was talking to one the other day... Israelite 1: Are you crazy? You don't want to become one of them, do you? Israelite 2: No! Of course not! I just wanted to know what everyone was so excited about. Well, they believe that Jesus rose from the dead. They said that he even came to some of them after he died. Israelite 1: That proves it. They are completely crazy. Israelite 2: Oh, it gets worse. They say that only by accepting Jesus can you get into Paradise.... Israelite 1: Do they not remember the law God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai? Israelite 2: Will you let me finish? I haven't gotten to the worst part. They not only say that we Israelites can gain eternal life through Jesus, they believe...they believe.. Israelite 1: What? They believe WHAT? Israelite 2: That even GENTILES can receive eternal life! Israelite 1: No! God forbid! Israelite 2: I swear it is true! They say that Gentiles can become members of "God's family" Israelite 1: But we are the chosen ones! Israelite 2: That's what I said! But this believer in the Way said that all are accepted in Jesus. Israelite 1: Well that's just crazy. We have been God's chosen people since Abraham, and no one else has that right. Israelite 2: Yeah! What have they done to deserve God's favor? Israelite 1: Nothing! There is no reason God's blessings should rest upon the Gentiles. Israelite 2: No reason at all. That's just crazy talk. Come on, lets go to the synagogue. Israelite 1: I'm right behind you. Now of course, that's just a little imaginary dialogue I came up with, but chances are something similar happened. Even within the Christian community (those who are of the Way) the new Christian Jews had trouble accepting the fact that the Gentiles just received fellowship with God and became members of His family. The whole book of Ephesians deals with that issue (Acts 18 also gives some information on that). I imagine it would be hard to accept. I know it would be hard to accept. One of the reasons why is because we are blinded by our own selfishness and can't see that the price of justice has already been paid. We can't understand that grace is fair because of Jesus. Anyway, it was just a thought that turned into a very long post. Shalom, Sarah

I feel like a fish in a fishbowl...

I work as a gymnastics teacher at a gym in my town. We're a relatively small gym--with more of a rec program than a serious competition program. We only go up to level 7. This is my fifth year working as a teacher--I took gymnastics for 6 years as well (my last year taking and my first year teaching overlapped). I really love my job, I really do. It's fun to see these kids just get better and better. It teaches me patience. Self-control. And I like making money. But we just moved gyms. We moved to a gym almost twice as big as our old gym, and more of a square than an L. Our old gym really wasn't built to be a gym, and we had a lot of walls and logistics difficulties. With the new gym, the floorplan is wide open. You can see pretty much everything from everywhere. Which brings me to the topic of todays post. We used to have something called Parent Visitation. It's where all the parents got to come in and watch the classes. When I took (and the first few years of teaching), we had them every month. Then last year we switched to once every few months. Now with the new gym, we stopped. Our lobby/waiting room is designed with these HUGE picture glass windows so you can see in everywhere around the gym. I hated parent visitation. I hated it as a gymnast, and even more as a teacher. I felt like the parents were watching me, and if somehow their daughter fell(even if on accident), they'd blame me, even if it was her fault (It has happened before). My only consolation was that it was one week out of a couple of months. Now I know that all these parents are constantly watching. Crammed into that waiting room. I feel like a fish in a fishbowl. Being watched. Everything I do analyzed. It's a hard place to be in, believe me. I know it's the first week of classes, so these parents really are here to watch this first week and it'll die down, but I still feel like I'm naked in front of them. Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like a fish in a fishbowl? What did you do about it? Have you ever felt naked before God (like David often did?) What did you do about feeling that way towards God. Just some thoughts. Depue no, Sarah

A.W. Tozer is my hero...

Ok, C.S. Lewis is my hero. But I love Tozer too. I just started reading these excerpts from a Tozer collection, and I can't tell you how much God has spoken to me through his writings. I think I would want Lewis to be my teacher and Tozer to be my dad. I read absolutely the best excerpt last night. It was perfectly placed for me in that book. It was exactly what I needed. It was from his book, The Pursuit of God. Amazing. Here's a little section from the middle that kind of tells you what the chapter is about: The burden borne by mankind is a heavy and a crushing thing. The word Jesus used means a load carried or toil borne to the point of exhaustion. Rest is simply release from that burden. It is not something we do, it is what comes to us when we cease to do. His own meekness, that is the rest. I absolutely loved reading about what true meekness is, and about being free in Christ to not be offended by people. It reminded me of camp. Here's a link to this chapter online. Please, please read it. Especially if you struggle with pride, as I do. Even if you don't struggle with pride, read it. And tell me what you think. A revair, Sarah

So I didn't post yesterday...

I didn't really have anything useful to say. I don't really have anything useful to say today either--I'm mad at a few people. Other than that there's nothing interesting going on. Yesterday my littlest sister went to the doctor and the doctor finally officially diagnosed her with Angelman's Syndrome. While the genetic tests (the major ones) had come back negative, she had all the symptoms (except for seizures) of Angelman's. So finally the doctor went ahead and diagnosed her. Most people I know don't know that I have a disabled sister. I don't really talk about it much, not because I'm ashamed, but because unless you meet Julie, the temptation is just to classify her or write her off, and I hate for people to do that. When I say that she's disabled, their mind immediately forms opinions as to what she is like. However, Angelman's is rather different than a lot of other syndromes and disabilities. You can't just pigeon-hole it. I may someday post about the struggles with having a disabled sibling. It's definitely not easy. But for today, I'm just rejoicing in the fact that her challenges have a name. Now I can definitely say "My sister is an Angel". I'm sure you don't understand why it's such a big deal to get an official diagnosis. But it is. Here's a link you should check out. Look at the picture of the smiling little boy on the first page. He's adorable. And thank you to everyone who has looked at my sister as a person, not as a problem. Gim di lehna, Sarah

His character

What has God revealed to you today about His character? What have you observed about the way God works? If you say that God hasn't revealed anything to you, well, you just haven't noticed it. Because God is always revealing Himself--through creation, through others, through His word, through everything. I was reading today where A.W. Tozer talks about God's Voice. He says "Whoever will listen will hear the speaking Heaven". He talks about God's command to "Be still and know that I am God". It really is a fabulous chapter, from The Pursuit Of God. At the very end of the chapter, there's a prayer. I'm going to quote it here. Lord, teach me to listen. The times are noisy and my ears are weary with a thousand raucous sounds which continuously assault them. Give me the spirit of the boy Samuel when he said to Thee, "Speak, for thy servant heareth." Let me hear Thee speaking in my heart. Let me get used to the sound of Thy Voice, that its tones may be familiar when the sounds of the earth die away and the only sound will be the music of Thy speaking Voice. Amen. I've decided to try something. I'm going to start making a note every day in some kind of a book (probably my binder). I'm going to write down a characteristic or aspect of God that He has revealed to me each day. Hopefully that'll help me to be more aware of God. I'd challenge you to try it. See what you've been missing out on. Magha, Sarah

God is so cool...

Sometimes I wonder if God just waits and waits until we are really frustrated with something before he lets it happen. My best friend and I have wanted to get a youth group drama team going on for SO long. Literally years. But especially last year, we approached our youth pastor and presented our plan to him. It seemed like a logical plan, we prayed about it, it felt right, and so we were just waiting to get started. It never happened. So here we are in our senior year, wanting to do it again. We were also feeling frustrated because while our youth pastor is great, he takes awhile in making decisions. We were getting worried and just almost like "even if we ask, it'll take a few months to get going". We even had a friend who said "It ain't never gonna happen." At the end of the day, Laura(my best friend) finally just said "Well, why don't we just mention it to him. We already presented our plan, and he seemed enthusiastic before. Why not." Tonight after youth group, on a whim, I mentioned it to him. I said "Hey, Laura and I were wondering about the drama team..." I didn't even get to the part about us being seniors when our youth pastor exclaims "Do it. Do it. Yeah, let's get that going as soon as possible". Before you know it, we've got an announcement plan, a timing issue, and a full speed "go ahead". It really was amazing how God worked it out. I'd been praying, but let me tell you, I didn't have much hope. I was trying to have hope, but it was quickly fading. God really does have my life and my future under control. He has this drama team under control. It's times like these that I'm reminded of Psalm 103. For as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. God completely rocks. He loves me so much. And yes, his will is perfect. Devlesa, Sarah

Anyone want to hunt?

Well I just found an interesting scavenger hunt. No, these people aren't searching for painted cows, or blue buildings. They aren't looking for midgets, or dancing twins. They are looking for MULLETS. YES, MULLETS. At the Iowa State Fair it turns out. Minus the booze, it seems like a pretty fun event. See how these ladies did. I wonder what their prize was. Maybe a mullet wig? Sounds like fun. In fact I might get one going myself. Mullet Hunt anyone? Sai sere, Sarah (I wonder if God invented the Mullet)

Tomorrow

I hear a voice crying out from the bellies of their mommas Hold on for today don't worry about tomorrow Though the rains of today seem to fall with sorrow Let me be and we'll see this life for tomorrow I hear a cry going out in the middle of the night Under the scatter of the stars from a voice cracked with fright And as the tears stripe cheeks from pain running south The taste of salt hits the corner of her mouth Resting on tied toungues with no breath left to speak Sick of throwing up with no bread left to eat Tired and confused from disillusionment Sunny days turn to grey and away he went Ripping the hooks out your heart from the promises at dark The words found their mark as the sheets came apart Every spoken word broken As he flipped you a token Kiss on the cheek as his feet found the open door What's in store for you he didn't question Shook his burden to the floor to leave you guessing About the future and what it will unfold But you're still standing there rockin' it so bold like (CHORUS x2 ) Holding on these songs of hope I cannot sing them without you Holding on, holding on You can't just point a finger and say it's alright Make a trip downtown and put it out of sight Because two came together so strong one night And two wrongs don't make one right Giving a voice to the voiceless saying it's choiceless 'Cause they're priceless my princess I feel the kicks and the churns give me a turn And a shot at this world to fight the fight To beat my plight and let my light shine In this dark time with all its ways of wearing crime And let this world drown in these ultrasounds Hearing this heart beats speak sweet so profound From beat down to higher ground Where hope abounds with love that astounds Les Miserables this ain't no miserable daughter Calling you Cossette 'cause God will be your father (CHORUS x2) Holding on these songs of hope I cannot sing them without you Holding on, holding on Tomorrow by Mat Kearney Beautiful lyrics. Read them a few times to try to absorb them. Trok lom, Sarah

When I grow old...

I was at church today when my eyes spotted an older couple that goes to our church. No matter how cute a couple is, no couple is cuter than the elderly couple who goes everywhere together. They even look alike. Let me tell you about this couple. They've been going to our church since the beginning of its existence(1982). They've seen the hard times, they've seen the good times, they've seen people come and people go. I really don't think I've ever seen them miss a service, even though they're getting slower and don't get out much. They've seen the music change (and get a lot louder) over the years, and still they've stayed. They don't stand up anymore during praise and worship--it just takes too much out of them. But every once in awhile you'll look over and see them singing the songs--even the ones that they don't know. You can see them sometimes move their lips in silent prayer as Pastor is praying. You can tell that they care. As I was watching this couple today, my eyes filled with tears. Through it all, you can see their faithfulness. I wonder if when I'm in my 80's (or beyond. They're in their late 80's at least) I'll still have that kind of passion for Jesus. I asked God that. He didn't quite answer me directly, but He said something to the effect of "Faithfulness is a decision". And He's right(duh, when is God not right). Faithfulness is a choice we make every day. I cannot be faithful on my own--but Jesus lives in me, and His love compels and strengthens me. So with that: I have decided to follow Jesus I have decided to follow Jesus I have decided to follow Jesus No turning back, no turning back The cross before me, the world behind me The cross before me, the world behind me The cross before me, the world behind me No turning back, no turning back Though none go with me, still I will follow Though none go with me, still I will follow Though none go with me, still I will follow No turning back, no turning back. No turning back, no turning back... Segobe, Sarah

Psalm 103

Praise the Lord, I tell myself; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, I tell myself, and never forget the good things he does for me. He forgives all my sins and heals all my diseases. He ransoms me from death and surrounds me with love and tender mercies. He fills my life with good things. My youth is renewed like the eagle's! The Lord gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly. He revealed his character to Moses and his deeds to the people of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious; he is slow to get angry and full of unfailing love. He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever. He has not punished us for all our sins, nor does he deal with us as we deserve. For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our rebellious acts as far away from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he understands how weak we are; he knows we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone--as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever with those who fear him. His salvation extends to the children's children of those who are faithful to his covenant, of those who obey his commandments! The Lord has made the heavens his throne; from there he rules over everything. Praise the Lord, you angels of his, you mighty creatures who carry out his plans, listening for each of his commands. Yes, praise the Lord, you armies of angels who serve him and do his will! Praise the Lord, everything he has created, everywhere in his kingdom. As for me--I, too, will praise the Lord. Psalm 103, NLT I don't deserve it, but somehow I have it. I couldn't earn it, but somehow it's mine. I have been saved and redeemed when I needed it most and it was the farthest out of my reach. He has loved me with an everlasting love, and I love Him. I know that sometimes I like to just talk about it. Other times I just like to rest in God's love. Right now I just want to rest in His love. Because He does love me. Sayonara, Sarah

He has done the impossible.

You have redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness You have redeemed my soul from death You have redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness You have redeemed my soul from death (repeat) I was a hungry child A dried up river I was a burned out forest And no one could do anything for me But you put food in my body Water in my dry bed And to my blackened branches you brought the springtime green of new life And nothing is impossible for you You have redeemed my soul from the pit of emptiness You have redeemed my soul from death. You Have Redeemed My Soul, written by Don Chaffer of Waterdeep I absolutely love that song. The line that gets me the most is the one that's bolded. It reminds me that as impossible as a situation is, God is bigger. Not only did God make the mountains or the vast expanses of the ocean, or all the depths of the galaxies, but He did something even more amazing. Not only does he form the wing of every insect, or know each breath we'll take before they come to pass, but He did something that we can't even fully grasp. God redeemed us. God did the impossible in sending Jesus to live the perfect life. Jesus did what we can never do--be perfect. He, as a human, had fellowship with God because He was without sin. Not only that, but in dying, He didn't just make himself perfect, He made open fellowship with God available to all who will accept it through Him. No matter what situation I face, I need to remember that to God, it's nothing. After all, He already did what was really "impossible". Au sa liu mada, Sarah

There is a Fountain...

There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Emmanuel’s veins; And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains. Lose all their guilty stains, lose all their guilty stains; And sinners plunged beneath that flood lose all their guilty stains. The dying thief rejoiced to see that fountain in his day; And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away. Washed all my sins away, washed all my sins away; And there have I, though vile as he, washed all my sins away. Dear dying Lamb, Thy precious blood shall never lose its power Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more. Be saved, to sin no more, be saved, to sin no more; Till all the ransomed church of God be saved, to sin no more. E’er since, by faith, I saw the stream Thy flowing wounds supply, Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die. And shall be till I die, and shall be till I die; Redeeming love has been my theme, and shall be till I die. Then in a nobler, sweeter song, I’ll sing Thy power to save, When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave. Lies silent in the grave, lies silent in the grave; When this poor lisping, stammering tongue lies silent in the grave. Lord, I believe Thou hast prepared, unworthy though I be, For me a blood bought free reward, a golden harp for me! ’Tis strung and tuned for endless years, and formed by power divine, To sound in God the Father’s ears no other name but Thine. Words by William Cowper For the rest of my life, my song will be of God and his redeeming love. Once you choose to love, once you are loved by an Everlasting Love, your life becomes about that. I want my life to reflect God's love--my heart to overflow with the love He has shown me. I was a sinner dead in my sins, and God redeemed my life and filled me with His love. What shall I do in response? I have swept away your offenses like a cloud, your sins like the morning mist. Return to me, for I have paid the price to set you free. Isaiah 44:22 Ricunacushun, Sarah

For Ali

This is for you, Ali J. In my weakness I find that Your strength knows no bounds In my lonliness I find that the Everlasting arms surround me And even with this fragile heart I find a place to rest here safe where You are And now I'm falling into grace again and now I'm running where mercy never ends Lord I'm learning that Your love can cover me You are teaching me what a child is meant to be. (What a Child Is Meant To Be, written and performed by Kathryn Scott) I love you, Ali. -Sarah

Lightning drill

I can see lightning and hear the thunder. It's going to rain here. It's the first time I've seen lightning since I left camp. I don't think I'll ever see lightning or hear thunder again without thinking of camp--where lightning drills are an everyday occurance and the noise of thunder really does mean serious danger. See, at camp we're on top of a mountain. Lightning really does strike. It is not just a nice thing, to be inside. It's a matter of life or death. Often times we'll get the campers inside and you'll see staff still out and about. I've been out during lightning drills. Why? Well, at least for me, it was almost like I felt I wouldn't get struck. That somehow, because I was staff, I could do my job and the lightning wouldn't strike me. I never did get struck with lightning. But God reminded me near the end of the summer that I'm not invincible. Lightning doesn't care who I am. I started this post off just thinking about how much I missed camp. Now I know why I was supposed to write it. The world doesn't care who I am. I think I get wrapped up sometimes in thinking that my faith is so strong that I won't be affected by the world. But guess what? The world doesn't give a hoot. It doesn't matter how strong I think I am, just like it doesn't matter if I'm on staff. The world and its temptations, just like lightning, are very dangerous. When I act like I can't be affected, I'm only fooling myself--and putting myself in danger. At camp, when there's a lightning drill, someone gets on the PA system and tells us to get inside. And if there's any staff still out, they tell that staff specifically to get inside. The PA person is like the Holy Spirit--telling me when I'm in danger, and making sure I know to get inside. Getting to safety--going away from the danger and getting myself somewhere safe, like with Jesus. I really need to listen to the Holy Spirit. He knows the danger a lot more clearly than I do. Boy, it really is lightning out there. I need to get inside and stay there. Do videnja, Sarah

No matter what...

Last night I was reading in Romans and in Ezekiel, as I have been doing for about the past week or so, and it just kind of hit me that my life is not my own. In my life, I'm going to go through bad times and I'm going to go through good times, but the truth is, God owns me. I want God to own me...I want him to control me. I don't want to live my life on my own terms. I want, in every situation, for God to be glorified in my life. No matter what happens. Even if I die tomorrow, I want God to be glorified. Even if I lose everything I hold dear, I want God to be glorified. Have you ever thought of the word "magnify"? We say it often...or I should say sing it often in Christian circles. I have a song that says it in my brain right now. The word magnify means to make something appear larger. When we say "be magnified in me, God", what we're really saying is "God, be huge in my life." I want God to be taken out of the box I've put him in. I want, in every situation, for God to be glorified. Slane lhiat, Sarah

Be witnesses...

I'd like to share a few thoughts on evangelism. More specifically, talking about sharing the gospel. Jesus gave us a few commandments about evangelism. One of them is found in Mark 16:15: He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to all creation... Another time (Acts 1:8 to be exact) Jesus said this: "...But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth." There are other verses about evangelism, but these two I really want to focus on. Before I start, I'd like to give a little disclaimer. I am not an expert evangelist. I'm not even remotely skilled in that area. Whenever I take spiritual gift surveys, evangelism ends up near the very bottom. This is for me as much as you. I'm posting this because my pastor preached on evangelism today, and we talked about an outreach we're going to be doing. I sat in church and write the basis for this post. First of all, Jesus says to preach the Good News. What is the Good News--it's the gospel. Over and over in the New Testament, it is made clear what the gospel is. The gospel is the life, work and person of Jesus Christ. Jesus and nothing else. So what are we preaching? Jesus. That is what we were told to share with the world. Now to Acts 1:8. The verb in that section is "to be". We often act like the verb is "to witness". It's not. We are to be a witness for Jesus. It is not what we do, it is who we are. If Christ is our life, like Colossians 3:4 says, our constant state should be showing Jesus. To show people Who it is that lives inside of us. Notice that Jesus didn't say "Share the good news and church". He didn't say "Preach me and Bible reading". He didn't say "Share me with the world and tell them they need to live for me". He said "Share me with the world". Because the gospel--that is Jesus--is all that is neccesary for our salvation. Let me go off on a little tangent here. One of the most popular quotes about evangelism is "“Evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar where to find bread" (D. T.Niles). Unfortunately, too many people take the approach that evangelism is one beggar telling another beggar that he's hungry. Most sinners know that they've sinned. There is no need to tell someone that they're hungry--more than likely, they know that already. Second complaint I have. We say we don't know how to share the gospel. That is complete rubbish. We don't know how to share Christianity (as we know it) with people. For we think that's what evangelism is. Jesus commanded us to share HIM with everyone. Nothing else. If we have Jesus in us, we have experienced Jesus. We know who He is, and so we need to know nothing else. Thirdly, I hate the question "How many people have you led to Christ this year?" I hate that question because it puts some kind of responsibility on us. Like somehow it's US that have anything to do with people coming to Christ. God doesn't need us. If I disappeared from the face of the earth it doesn't mean that God could never reach anyone ever again. He chooses to use us. Any credit is not ours--it is Christ's. Anyway, my ramblings don't make sense. So I'll go now. Adiós! -Sarah

But why?

Ever got into a situation, looked around, and said "Why am I here"? I have, and I did today. I'm taking Non-Western Art History at our local community college. Why I am taking Non-Western Art History, I do not know (By the way, I'm doing it by dual enrollment). I originally just wanted to take Oral Interpretation. That class disappeared from the CC's schedule. Ok, so I'll take Principles of Web Design instead. Oh, that won't transfer to a University. Neither will Principles of Marketing(which was my other choice). So I'm taking Tennis(needed the PE credit to graduate) and Non-Western Art History. Now you would say "But the other classes won't transfer, so you picked one that would transfer". But the thing is, I don't need any Art to get my degree. I won't need Marketing or Web Design either. If I took them, it would just be to better myself, to take a class I could get an easy A on, and to learn some fairly useful skills. Why am I taking Non-Western Art History? I have no interest in Art History, especially Non-Western Art History. I don't like Mexican or Islamic art, and I'm sure I'll have to study those. I got really mad at myself that I decided to take it, then I figured that God has a plan. For some inexplicable reason, I signed up for this class that I don't really want to take. Maybe God has someone in that class He wants me to talk to. Maybe He wants me there for a reason. Who knows. Either way, I'm taking Non-Western Art History. I'll let you know how it goes. Ziech lu, Sarah

Is my faith tested?

I've been thinking recently about my faith...and my friends who are Christians. Most of my friends have had experiences in their life, major experiences, where they've almost had to say "Is there a God?" Me? Never had anything. And I sometimes wonder, is my faith really that strong? God reminds me every once in awhile, "Sarah, if I took away everything, would you still love Me?" and after thinking about it, I say that I would. But would I really? I've never been through a time where I thought God had abandoned me. Ok, I have, but not in a major way. Confession time! I have trouble, deep down, with knowing that God is good. I say that He's good. I tell others that He's good. But I don't live like I believe it. Sometimes I don't trust like someone who believes they serve a good God. I don't obey like I believe He's good. So when a storm comes in my life(because they always do come), will I stand firm? Or will I fall? I guess only time will tell. The best thing to end with is a quote from CS Lewis' The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe (which was made into a movie that is coming out December 9th in the US). “Safe?” said Mr. Beaver. “Don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? Of course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the king, I tell you!” No matter what happens, God is still good. Selamat sejahtera, Sarah

My Jesus

Which Jesus do you follow Which Jesus do you serve If Ephesians says to imitate Christ Why do you look so much like the world `Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and liars He loved the poor and accosted the rich So which one do you want to be Blessed are the poor in spirit Or bless me with the wealth of this land Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness Or meet my wants and needs I have faith You can But my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and liars He loved the poor and accosted the rich So which one do you want to be Who is this that you follow This picture of the American dream If Jesus was here, would you walk right by on the other side Or fall down and worship at His holy feet Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion Is how you see Him as He dies for your sins But the word says He was battered and scarred Or did you miss that part Sometimes I doubt we`d recognize Him `Cause my Jesus bled and died He spent His time with thieves and the least of these He loved the poor and accosted the rich So which one do you want to be `Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud I think He'd prefer deep ellum to the stained glass crowd But I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud I want to be like my Jesus My Jesus Written by Todd Agnew On his new album, 'Reflections of Something'.

I'll never attain it...

I've always thought (not directly, more subconsciously) that somehow, someday, I'll be a good Christian. I think I've just always taken that from different teachings I've heard. "Do this and you'll be a good Christian!" "Pray, because that's what good Christians do" "Read your Bible and someday you'll fall in love with it and when you do, you'll be a good Christian!". What a load of elephant crap. Even after realizing that I'll never be a good Christian, I still struggle with it. Today I sinned. I know I always sin, but today I deliberately sinned. And I felt so bad afterward. After I deliberately sin(especially after a few sins I specifically struggle with), I always kick myself over the head and I always tell myself one thing. You should know better. Should I? Will I? I keep thinking that someday I'll get to a place where I won't struggle with those sins. Where this will all become easy. Where ignoring the world will just be the most natural thing in the world to me. I keep thinking that I'll become perfect. I'm not posting this to say that my life is now changed because I realize that thinking is wrong. Because I still am having to fight that mindset. I will always be having to fight that mindset. So why am I posting it? Because I was reminded today, after my sin and the beating of myself, what God taught me at camp. It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me!!! My Christianity isn't based on me or on how "good" I'm doing. My life is not based on how good of a Christian I am(And believe you me, I lived that lie my whole life!). It's based on the redemptive work of Jesus FOR me. My life is not about what I've done, what I am doing, or what I will do. It's about what Jesus did. I am not my failures, and I am not my successes. I am not my sin, and I have no righteousness. All I am and all I ever will be is wrapped up in the person of Jesus Christ, and HIS success. Jesus Christ lived the life I couldn't live, and He died the death I should've died. My life, my identity, any righteousness I might have is because of Jesus. I am who I am not because of the bad things I've done, and not because of the good things I've done, but because of Jesus. I am a child of God. I am forgiven, and I am redeemed, and I needed to be reminded of that every day. Even though I don't know if I'll ever fully get it, I'm glad I've got it. I hope you've got it too. Titotazqueh, Sarah

everyday God...

(Click to see a larger version) I love the fact that as God becomes more and more real to me, He impacts my everyday life in even more amazing ways. If we choose to ignore God, we won't see Him move in every aspect of our lives; but if we seek Him, we will soon realize that He moves everywhere. I know it's been amazing over time to see God move. Not just in HUGE AMAZING ways, but in the little ways. God says that we are His friends. I don't know about you, but my friends care about everything that matters to me. If I'm having a bad day, they care. If I'm having a bad hair day, they care. If I've lost my keys, if I'm nervous about a paper, if I feel unhealthy and want to lose weight, they care. More importantly, God cares. I think that growing up I always felt like if I came to God, it had to be with something important, or that it had to have great spiritual worth. It doesn't. God wants a relationship with every one of us. If my relationships with people just involved the heavy stuff, our relationships wouldn't really be that healthy. God wants you to come to Him with everything. Even the everyday things. And soon, you'll see Him more and more through them.. Mucaale kabotu, Sarah

tidbits

Question of the Day: What is the role of art in life? (I'd especially like to know how you think it fits with Christianity) (Answer any way you'd like--by comment, by post on your blog, by reference to someone else's writings, however you wish. And I do mean art in a general sense)

This about sums it up.

By grace I’m saved, grace free and boundless; My soul, believe and doubt it not; Why stagger at this word of promise? Hath Scripture ever falsehood taught? Nay; then this word must true remain: By grace thou, too, shalt Heav’n obtain. By grace! None dare lay claim to merit; Our works and conduct have no worth, God in His love sent our Redeemer, Christ Jesus, to this sinful earth; His death did for our sins atone, And we are saved by grace alone. By grace! O, mark this word of promise When thou art by thy sins oppressed, When Satan plagues thy troubled conscience, And when thy heart is seeking rest. What reason cannot comprehend God by His grace to thee doth send. By grace! This ground of faith is certain; So long as God is true, it stands. What saints have penned by inspiration, What in His Word our God commands, What our whole faith must rest upon, Is grace alone, grace in His Son.

Of boys and girls and relationships…

(Sorry it's long) No, I didn’t “find someone” at camp. So why am I posting this? Well, in reflection of this summer spent at camp, I realized how much my views on that area of life really were affected. I’ve never had a boyfriend. I’ve never kissed a guy (I always phrase it that way. Maybe I should start switching the order). So why did I end up being one of the staff members talking to 100 girls about guys and relationships? Well, I still don’t know. But I did. I talked to two different groups of girls, one at each camp session, about boys, their identity, feeling special, self-image, and being loved by God. It actually went surprisingly well. I’m a verbal thinker, so being able to share with these pre-teen and teenage girls about all that I’ve learned in regards to feeling loved by God and knowing that’s all I need was really good for me. It re-emphasized what God has taught me. At camp, you are surrounded by really good looking Christian guys. And what makes them even more attractive is that they aren’t focused on you, they’re focused on Christ. Nothing is more attractive than Jesus. And that completely inspires you to be closer to Jesus. I guess that’s where the next thing comes in. My whole life, deep down, I had this view of relationships as great times. I thought that someday, I’d fall in love, and even though it wouldn’t be easy, we’d always be that “cute couple”. I knew that relationships weren’t based on feelings, but I didn’t really understand what it was about. I thought it was just being with the person God made for you. This summer I really realized that relationships are about holiness. I have this book in which I write love letters to my future husband. I decided to write a letter while I was at camp, and so I got out the book. On a whim, I looked back at some of the older letters(I started when I was 13), and what I saw really amazed me. I had all these letters that were like “I hope you love me, I hope that when we get to be old and wrinkled and sagging that we’ll still be romantic”, etc. I was shocked and in my mind said “But that’s not what relationships are about!” They’re about holiness. It’s about me and someone else pursuing God and holiness together, about him pushing me towards Jesus, even when I don’t want to be pushed, and vice versa. It’s about two people uniting to be closer to Jesus. “As iron sharpens iron” the Bible says. I had this desire, near the end of the summer, for a true relationship. Not because I need someone to urge me to God—He’s calling me loudly enough—but in the sense that while I want romance, what I really want is a running partner. I want to have a guy that will want to pray with me, and want to know what I’ve learned about Jesus today. That’s my heart’s desire. I’ve been working on focusing on God, and forgetting all the guys I was attracted to at camp(I need to wait and let God send someone who will pursue me, not be concerned with pursuing a guy). And I know I’m only 17 and have plenty of time. I’m not in a rush to get into a relationship. I would like to meet my future husband, and God knows that. I guess the big point of this is to share that in focusing on Jesus, I was able to learn about all different areas of life, including romantic relationships. It’s pretty neat Hyarcha, Sarah

A little bit...

Learning to fall realizing my imperfections blue dusk of night comes naturally after the day love is now applied my fears rectified free to trip to face the truth of mothballs in the closet mold in the attic and dirt in my soul. Free to know Grace. Written July 22nd, 2005 -------- Your blood speaks a better word Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth Speaks righteousness for me And stands in my defense Jesus, it's Your blood What can wash away our sins? What can make us whole again? Nothing but the blood Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash us pure as snow Welcomed as the friends of God? Nothing but Your blood Nothing but Your blood, King Jesus Your cross testifies in grace Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us Now boldly we approach Not by earthly confidence It's only by Your blood...

Why hello...

I'm back from one of the most beautiful places on earth--the mountians of North Carolina. I've been away at camp, working, and I have to say, I haven't missed anything. Ok, so there were a few times I thought "I wish I could share this with everyone! If I was home I'd blog about it", but that didn't matter because I was up there, and if I was able to blog about it, I wouldn't be at camp experiencing it. I know you're probably like "Oh Sarah, you got back from camp, you're on this nice Jesus high, you're so excited, and so camp seems like heaven to you. You make it out to be something it isn't". But no lie, camp is awesome. Ok, MY camp is awesome. I loved being a camper, but nothing compares to being on staff. Being discipled in a place where Jesus, and ONLY Jesus is lifted up is an experience I wish everyone I know could have. I have learned more about Jesus and the gospel, and been able to focus on JESUS and NOT on myself, and I can't even describe how amazing that is. How is this for wonderful: I woke up every morning very early (Most days 6:30), would get dressed, and then go under the tent and sit in a rocking chair facing down the hill and watch the sun rise while I read my Bible and talked to God. Then I'd go eat and then help serve breakfast, head back to the cabin and rest for a few minutes during "God and I" time (The kids' quiet time), and then go to chapel and be able, in the cool of the morning, to worship God. After chapel, I'd go to devotions with my co-staff members(in the same position as I was). Then it's be time to go to lunch, then after lunch it was Cabin Corners for a nap or going to the pool for a swim. Next was activities, which I was assigned to a station and worked there for awhile, and then had the next activity period off and showered and got ready for dinner. After dinner was "fun chapel", where I got to watch skits and stuff, then Ranch House, where I beat more than a few people at Connect Four. Then we went back to chapel for "real chapel", then to the cabins, where we would have cabin devotions and go to bed. Of course, that's leaving out all the wacky and fun "special days" that we had this summer. Tons of those. I wish I could tell you all that I've learned, but I think that the things I learned the most I'm not able to fully express. I do know that God loves me, He thinks I'm special, and He shows me kindness. Jesus' work FOR me is the most important thing I could ever learn, and that work is finished and complete. I need nothing more for acceptance with God. Maybe someday I'll be able to articulate what God has changed in my life, but right now I'm just concerned with living it out. That's the true test of knowing that I have learned and changed. Be rooted and established in love, and I'll talk to you later, Sveiki, Sarah