By faith...

Faith is a big issue. In case you don’t think about it a lot, let me assure you that it is. Whether or not we have faith, and how much, affects every area of our lives. When I go through a green light at an intersection (ah! I miss driving) I have to have faith that the other drivers will realize that it is a red light. If I am sitting on a bench (as I am now), I have to have faith that the bench can hold my weight up. I have to have faith that the air won’t become toxic right now and that the laws of the universe won’t get flipped upside down and suddenly gravity doesn’t exist. You see, faith does matter. It is not just a little issue. You would think that I’d get that. But no, I’m a freaking determined individual. My mom says “don’t touch that” and I have to touch it anyway—not out of obedience, but I want to know why. I have to try it myself. Some kids are like that, ok? And yes, I realize that if I ever have kids chances are that they’ll be the exact same way. But that’s a long way off if it does happen so we’re not thinking about it. But anyway, I have to know exactly why stuff is the way it is. Faith does not become me. So this morning I was reading in Hebrews, in chapter 11. Now if you aren’t up on your Bible, that’s what people refer to as the “Hall of Faith”. Now besides the fact that it’s a stupid nickname (I mean really? Hall of Faith? Why are Bible jokes always corny??), it’s a fairly accurate descriptor of the chapter. It talks all about various characters that are talked about earlier in the Bible and talks about the things they did “by faith”. There’s a lot in there about Abraham, you know because of the whole childless/getting the child/almost sacrificing the child thing. Well anyway, this morning I was reading the chapter outloud. If you’ve never done that, I’d encourage you to. It’s pretty powerful. So as I was reading it, I got to that famous verse, number 6. Without faith it is impossible to please God, and I thought to myself “Ok, that’s a good verse, heard it before, etc”. I didn’t really think etc, but you get it. Anywho, I kept reading outloud and realized that there was not a period there, that it was a comma. So I stopped and read back over the whole verse. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him. If I come to God, I must believe that first of all, He does exist. And not only do I have to assume that He does exst, but I have to believe that He is who He says He is. That He is a faithful God and that He is a good God. If I seek Him, I’ll find Him. Now I know that isn’t a very revolutionary thought, but for me it really hit home. I’ve been thinking about God and his character recently and so when I got to verse 6, I realized I can’t “logic” my way into faith. I can’t figure out God. I have no “proof” that God is who He says He is. But I can look at who He has proven Himself to be in the past, and then trust that he will continue to be that in the future. And that’s honestly freeing. After all, the bench is still here. The air isn’t toxic. Gravity still is in play. And God is good. Khuda hafiz, Sarah

I AM

Oh gently lay your head Upon my chest And I will comfort you Like a mother while you rest The tide can change so fast, But I will stay The same through the past, The same in future, same today I am constant; I am near I am peace that shatters all your secret fears I am holy; I am wise I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires Your heart's desires Oh weary, tired and worn, Let out your sighs And drop that heavy load you hold Cause Mine is light I know you through and through; There's no need to hide I want to show you love That is deep and high and wide I am constant; I am near I am peace that shatters all your secret fears I am holy; I am wise I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires Your heart's desires Oh gently lay your head Upon my chest And I will comfort you Like a mother while you rest I Am by Jill Phillips There are times in our lives where all we want or need is to know that someone is there. Our struggles are often so much on the inside, and we tend to hide them, but knowing that someone is there to help us through those struggles is a powerful thing. I've got a lot of issues in my life that keep popping up again, despite my best efforts to keep them at bay. I'm not quite sure why or how they are there, but they are. And it's tough, you know? It's not an easy thing. But I'm reading in Hebrews now, and it's so cool that as these struggles are resurfacing, Jesus is reminding me that He is my great High Priest. He knows my weakness, and best of all, He makes atonement for them. Not just temporary atonement, but permanant atonement. It's such an amazing thing. He is constant. And He does know my heart's desire. It's Him. He is my soul's sufficency... Fenynmæ, Sarah

Rest...

If God is satisfied with the work, the work must be satisfied with itself. -CS Lewis God's been teaching me to rest recently. I never realized how un-restful I was until I got here to school. And boy oh boy am I realizing it. I am such a worry-wart, such a perfectionist, such an over-achiever. And in the midst of all this I am not resting. I may be physically resting, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually, I'm not. I constantly feel like I have to strive--in my relationships, in my schoolwork, and in my mental life. And in all of that business I just...don't rest. Somewhere along the line I'm scared I've forgotten how to rest. Friday a friend prayed for me and my roommate, that she would be productive and I would be able to rest. And yesterday I did rest. And my roommate was productive. Well at my school, we aren't allowed to do school work on Sundays, as a Sabbath rest. The professors aren't allowed to work, and we are supposed to honor God and rest. Well I had been going through Hebrews this week, and I happened to get with chapter 4 today, which talks about the Sabbath rest for God's people. As I was reading it, I was going through and it hit me... God rested on the 7th day because the work was finished. And so when it talks about me being able to enter His rest, it's because Christ finished the work. There's nothing left for me to do...He has done it all. Jesus' "cross-work" finished everything. It's done. And so I can rest in the knowledge and peace that comes with the completed work of Christ. It's a glorious thing. Yawa, Sarah P.S. Someone asked what my camera is--well I haven't taken all these pictures, but the ones I have taken are with my Canon Powershot S2 IS

Single-minded...

Single minded, whole hearted One thing I ask Single minded, whole hearted One thing I ask That I may gaze upon Your beauty O Lord That I may seek Your holy face That I may know You in an intimate way And follow after You all of my days And follow after You all of my days All of life comes down to just one thing And that's to know You O Jesus And to make You known One Thing by Charlie Hall Charlie Hall is getting a lot of my love recently. Now "One Thing" is the song that's running through my mind. If you haven't heard this song, I encourage you to buy it off of iTunes or the Wal-Mart Music Store or any other music purchasing store of your choice. But it's a hard thing, is it not? To be single-minded. To be whole hearted. There are so many dang distractions in my life. Ones from my friends, ones from my family, and biggest of all, distractions that I put on myself. They all just take away my focus from God and put it on me. No longer is it about Him--it's about me and how my needs can be met. This song has been challenging me to think about where my heart is. Am I focused on, as my school's motto says, to "Know Him and Make Him Known"?? Is my heart's desire truly for Him and to know Him more and more and to become more like Him? To know Him in every area of my life, to focus on Him only? Am I thinking about God when I go down to the exercise room and work out? Am I thinking about God while I am in line for lunch? Am I thinking about God as I complain about my "Personal Skills for College Sucess" class and how useless it is? Am I thinking about God as I clean my room? Now of course we have to think about doing things--otherwise if we only thought about Jesus we'd never move because we couldn't think to move. But at the same time I think that God wants to be there, all the time. Whether I'm actively thinking of Him or not, He wants my heart. He wants it to be His. We're reading through the Old Testament for OT Survey, and we recently finished reading Exodus. There was a verse that I read that really stuck with me, and I'll close with it. Exodus 34:14 "Do not worship any other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God." God wants my whole heart. And He wants yours too. Alavidha, Sarah

A Poem

I am empty. Broken Skinned knees bleeding face needy. I have nothing to offer. No more to give. I am drained to my core. Empty. You’ve wanted me like this. Needed me like this Now here I am I never thought I’d come With utter depletion Weak. There is no more façade No more pretending This act in the play has come and gone And I stand here naked in front of only one. You.

Instant, please...

Sorry for the lack of posting. While I could use the excuse that I'm busy with school, I'm really not. Sure I'm busy, but I'm way ahead in my homework in all my classes, so truly I can't be honest and say that's what it is. But I've been pondering through a lot of stuff lately. And praise God that I've got some great new friends here who know exactly what it is I need. I am just so thankful for them and their words of encouragement and grace and hope in my life. I have some deep seeded issues that really need to be rooted out and dealt with, in a practical level, and I've ignored them for so long that it's hard. Well you might be thinking "What the heck does ramen have to do with spiritual change and the process of spiritual change?". Well, I'll tell you. I like instant stuff. If you have ever seen me on a computer, you would know that I do not like to wait. I like things fast, I like things instantly. I get impatient in the drive-thru at McDonalds. Sometimes I feel like yelling at the microwave. So because I've grown up with an "I want it now" mentality, I have a hard time when faced with issues that are deep seeded. I so easily forget that it is a process that takes time. There is no easy button for "Victorious Christian Living" as my school puts it. Just time and the grace of God. And for a girl who moves way faster than the ordinary person, that's rough. It's a process. Assudëi, Sarah

Friends and grace....

Do you ever just have to stop and thank God for your friends? Ever have one of those days where you don't know what you'd do if you didn't have friends? There are times when I'm just completely overwhelmed at the grace of God in my life--mostly ministered to me through my friends. They just speak words of life, encouragement, and correction so much. Last night was a rough night...I had some stuff I had been thinking about that I hadn't shared with anyone, and then suddenly there they were--friends. Two dear friends who I haven't known for all that long. But even though we haven't known each other for a long time, they still knew what I needed--and they knew exactly how I needed it. God is just so cool that He doesn't just use supernatural events to speak to us. He uses friends. And for that I'm grateful. My prayer is that today I can minister to them as they have to me. Dearvuoððaigun, Sarah

College + Change = New Design.

If you visit the blog via actual visit and not newsreader, you might notice something a little different...like a whole new blog look? Yes, you are at inexorablyloved. But the neighborhood has changed, eh? It's like when you visit your town after going on vacation and suddenly SHAZAM there's a new building. And it throws everything else off kilter. But basically I've wanted a three-column layout for forever and I finally made one. I got the basic coding here and then tweaked it a ton. New features? The ability to subscribe via the link over there on the right-hand side, using Feedburner, as well as quick links to add inexorably loved to a few good feed readers. I personally use Newsgator. Plus an updated blogroll...please let me know if you link to IL and I'd love to link back! And finally the other biggest change is the new del.icio.us links on the left side. Visit frequently to see what I'm reading--from spiritual to pop culture to news to entertainment. It'll all be there. Anyway, so that's what I've been doing the past week, besides studying a lot. I had my first OT exam today and I think I nailed it, which is awesome. I'm hoping to blog a bit more frequently now that I have the new layout and am into more of a rhythm with school. I hope everyone has a great day! Please let me know if you like it, think I should change the colors, etc. Spread the word about the new look at inexorablyloved! And P.S.: I realize that those of you with Blogger Beta have trouble commenting (since I have trouble commenting on Beta blogs when I'm non-beta.). I'm not sure if logging out would help you at all, but if it does and you have to do anonymous comment, do that;). Or e-mail me or contact me any other way you can.

Marvelous light of grace!

I once was fatherless, a stranger with no hope; Your kindness wakened me, Awakened me, from my sleep Your love it beckons deeply, a call to come and die. By grace now I will come And take this life, take your life. Sin has lost it's power, Death has lost it's sting. From the grave you've risen Victoriously! Into marvelous light I'm running, Out of darkness, out of shame. By the cross you are the truth, You are the life, you are the way My dead heart now is beating, My deepest stains now clean. Your breath fills up my lungs. Now I'm free. now I'm free! Lift my hands and spin around, See the light that I have found. Oh the marvelous light Marvelous light Marvelous Light lyrics by Charlie Hall Today is such a wonderful day. I went to a church this morning here in Columbia that totally was exactly what I needed to hear--grace. While it was completely traditional, the sermon was on Colossians 2, all about how Christianity is about Jesus. I scribbled sermon notes as fast as I could and will definitely download the other sermons in the series ASAP. Anyway, but I came back to my dorm and after grabbing my laundry that I had already washed yesterday, I quickly bought Marvelous Light and proceeded to play it over and over. As I danced around my room singing, I just realized the joy that invaded my soul. I was just overflowing with inexpressable joy--I still am. I just feel so free, so unchained. As the minister this morning said--in Jesus there is freedom. Not necessarily in being a Christian, because I know plenty of Christians who aren't living in freedom--but in Jesus. If you realize that all that you are--your past, present, and future--is all wrapped up in the life and work of Jesus Christ, you will experience such freeing and breathtaking life. I absolutely love the message of grace. The more I hear it, the more it fills me with joy. My life is lived out of response to that ferocious grace that has saved me. Everytime I hear someone speak on grace my heart leaps up in me and I am convinced further that it is Jesus and Jesus alone that will change people's hearts. If I am preaching sin management it won't change anyone's life. Like Colossians says, it lacks any value in restraining sensual indulgence. But if you preach Jesus, it'll change your life. It'll take your breath away. And the more you hear the message that Christianity is not about you and what you've done, or what rituals or customs you follow, but it's about Jesus, then the more you'll be free. The more you understand grace, sin loses its power. You no longer are in bondage to who you were and what you've done. Instead you'll realize that all you want, all you need is Jesus. And that's when you'll run into that marvelous light... into marvelous light I'm running...out of darkness out of shame... Have a wonderful day!! Khau bulyghyz, Sarah